You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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