maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
