i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
