i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
soo... how was my night?
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