connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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