i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
