You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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