I got chris browned last night
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
