I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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