i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
