Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
