he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
the gays at disneyland are vicious
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize
