she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You need Xanax blowdarts
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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