you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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