There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
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This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
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Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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