So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
