i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I queefed so loud it echoed.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
