How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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