This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
