This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
