My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
