Umm I'm too high to move.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
