you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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