Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
