Tell her she can't have a vagina
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
