we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
