i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
