So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
