He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
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I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
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So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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