ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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