She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
