i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
where are my eyebrows?
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