i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
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