you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
