its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize