Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
