her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
