at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
ok first of all what the fuck
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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