I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize