Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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