I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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