Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
