I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
