girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
