Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I pour the whiskey from now on
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
