i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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