my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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