at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
