Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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