I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize