we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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