currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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