he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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