she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
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