so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
