if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
