You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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