there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
