I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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