32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
